That Smell will Cure Everything

I have lived my whole life near the ocean and was raised with a mom that believed that the ocean air could cure any ailment. All I needed to do was take a drive up the Coast Highway and roll down the windows. Didn't really matter the time of day or how cold it may be, smelling the ocean became my medicine to cure any heartache. And like magic.. the ocean air heals wounds.
Well, during many of those drives it would be night time or a bit too cold to have the windows down, so I would crank the heater to the hottest setting and blast my feet. The combination of warm feet cold face worked for me. I think it worked a little too good because it has become a bit of a guilty pleasure I still contiue to enjoy.
It is not practical for me to escape my life everytime I need my magic ocean air fix, so instead I just blast the heater and roll the windows down when I am out at night picking kids up from activities or if I just need a few minutes to myself to do errands.
We have had some cold nights recently so I was excited to turn on the heater and get my little 'fix' in. Then this weird thing happened. I realized after a few moments that I was still cold. That never happens. I checked my thermostat and it was up as hot as it could go. Then it dawned on me that I was only working with one foot to heat. Dang it. I have since played around and cannot trick my fake foot into believing it is warm. And heating one foot just isn't enough to beat the cold coming inside the window. I'm going to have to play around with that some more because I'm not going to give up my 'Ocean Air'.

Brain freeze

One side effect from having chemotherapy is something called "chemo brain". This is something I hoped wouldn't last very long but I am still struggleing to live with it. Simply put, I just can't remember everyday things. It is like having a word on the tip of your tongue and not being able to recall what it is. Only I do this all day long. I am learning to stop myself and think before I spout out a wrong word. And sometimes I pause and still can't find the word I'm looking for. It is frustrating. Or I walk in the other room to get something and can't remember what I was just going to get. Now I know this happens to everyone. But mine is so much worse. I have finally realized that I have to start carrying around a notebook in my pocket to take notes.For example, I went to the store to buy bread. Only bread. I got there and couldn't remember what I needed. I walked up each aisle to try to jog my memory. Needless to say, I didn't buy bread but many other items I thought I needed. Today's most forgetful moment happen soon after I got up. After I got the kids settled downstairs, I went back upstairs to grab the quilt off my bed to put it in the wash. When I got to my room I noticed that I hadn't made my bed and so I stopped to make it. Throw pillows and all. Even straightened the sheets and quilt to make it look quite nice. I stepped back to compliment myself on a job well done. Something I usually do in a hurry and not so neatly. I thought to myself, 'This feels great! I love it when the bed is made.' I then turned to leave the room and thought, "Now what did I come up here to get?"
Argghhhh! Happy feeling gone! I grudgingly unmade the bed and brought the quilt downstairs to wash. And no.... I didn't remake the bed again after the quilt was washed.

Check it once, Check it twice

I get my lungs re-checked every 6 months. I went in and had a CT scan last week.  And I got the awaited phone call yesterday with the results.

My lungs are ALL CLEAR!!

Holiday Happiness

I had the best Christmas this year. It wasn't because of any gifts, or vacations, or anything else tangible. It was just great to be alive and feeling well to enjoy the season and be with my family. I reflected many times on what I was doing and how I was feeling during Christmas week last year. I was in an oncology room getting pumped full of Chemo. I didn't have a wish list for Santa, but instead said many heartfelt prayers pleading with my Heavenly Father that I would live through each day of treatment and the awful days that followed. I remember being too tired last year to even lift my arms to open a gift. The kids would say, "Mom, it is your turn. Open one of your gifts!" I would struggle to lift my arms and tear the wrapping paper. I always needed a helping hand with each gift I opened. I don't even remember what was in the boxes. But I remember feeling so grateful that I was able to simply be at home with my family and watch their joy. Although I enjoyed the Christmas season so much this year. I love all the decorating, tree trimming, singing Christmas songs, and so much more. I am forever changed and will always enjoy most the simple act of living and being present in the lives of my children. I am so blessed.

18 and counting

Kenneth and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. I don't even remember having an anniversary last year, or celebrating in any way. I remember thinking we could do something fun this year. This is our "Golden Year". Meaning we are celebrating 18 years on the 18th of December. We had planned to go away for the weekend but we talked ourselves out of that. We have only spent the night away from home together on our 10th anniversary. Or when visiting the ER in the wee hours of the night, or when having a baby. But never getting away just the two of us for fun. Now part of the problem is that although the week before Christmas is a beautiful time of year to be married, it is a busy time of year and we usually budget our extra cash on Christmas items for the kids or to paying our property taxes.
This year we celebrated with the whole family! We had our wedding reception at the Hotel Del Coronado. It it so beautifuly decorated for the holidays. But we have never taken the kids to see the hotel or the huge Christmas tree. Did I mention that it was built in the 1880's and has so much beautiful details in the interior woodworking.

We took the kids and my mom along and had fun telling stories of our reception and walking them through the hotel, around the ballroom we had our reception in,  and on to the beach. It was just beautiful and a really fun family night.

Kenneth suprised me the following night with amazing seats to the Nutcracker Ballet. We went there one night on our honeymoon. I was impressed at his thoughfulness and it was fun to get dressed up and spend a night downtown. Anniversary a success!

Leg Three

Santa came to my house early! I got another leg today! Well, not a whole leg. In the past 9 months my lucky fin has shrunk so much that I had to have a third socket made. I keep the old foot and the old hardware. My old foot is looking pretty beat up. I wear my good tennis shoe 95% of the time, even in the house because my gait is adjusted to that pair of shoes. But it still gets gunky. I just take some windex to it and shine it up.
Today I thought it was time to get a new pair of shoes to go with my new foot. It really does make a difference. I wear this socket for a week and then tune it up in any sore spots. So far so good. Just a few spots hurt. My leg has lost all it's shape and is very cylindrical. It is weird to look at. Sometime I will take a picture and post it. It is super weird and kinda gross looking to be honest.

New Addition

We have had the most loyal and loving dog for the past 12 years. His name is Pete. Over the last few months he has blown out his knee and hip and after some tests, we believe he has cancer. We have been keeping him comfortable until we could let him go. I think he is ready and I have been preparing myself to let him go. The problem is that I don't know if I should keep him around through the holidays or not. Well, we started to look for a new puppy over the last couple of weeks and found a great dog at the shelter. She was about 4 months old and we all fell in love with her. Sadly, 4 days later she got that awful puppy virus and was terribly ill. The virus had been going aroundthe shelter and we took a chance on her anyway. We had to put her down. Not easy for me, even though we had only known her a few days. Hard on the kids too but we decided that she would have died in the shelter and at least she had a family to love her even if it was only for a short time.
This last weekend we found some puppies at a different shelter and after meeting with all 8 of the puppies in the liter, we picked one out and brought her home. We did a major bleach down of the outside yard and insde. We threw out any toy or other item that the last puppy may have touched and we cleaned our carpets. So far, we are good. We named her Gretchen.

Gretchen. She is a Black Lab blend

Our amazing dog Pete. He is a shepherd mix