Look what I grew.

I don't wear make up unless necessary lately. Because I want to leave my eyelashes alone to grow. This morning I tested them out to see how they were growing. Goodness gracious!!!  Time for another happy dance!

Great job lashes!! Keep growing!

Draper

I have a bad habit that I cannot outgrow. Since childhood my mom has called me "The Draper".
When I come in the door from being out, I  drape my stuff all over the place. I take off my coat and leave it where I took it off. I take off my shoes and leave them wherever I am at the time. So in essence, my stuff becomes draped though out the house. I never caught on to the idea of putting things in the right place when you take them off. It sure makes for alot more work when you are the one putting it away afterwards. Or worse, you cant find where you last draped it.
I think it is time I now work on fixing my problem. I don't really like wearing a wig. It is hot and a bit annoying. I only wear it to church or special outings now. Nevertheless, as soon as I get into the house I take it off and put it somewhere. I think the kids are tired of me saying "has anyone seen where I left my hair?". That is bad enough. But last night it was late and I was sitting at the table and just had to take my leg off. It sure felt good to get it off. But guess where I left it? Leaning up against the table downstairs.
I overslept a bit this morning and tried to hurry out of bed and get my clothes and all of Ben's things ready to take downstairs with me and where was my leg? Still downstairs. I had to hop and crawl from room to room because of course the older kids left all their bedroom lights on and I can't stand to leave them on all day. Anyway, What a pain!! My leg was by the table, my special socks were on the couch and my other special sock thing was in the kitchen (I had washed it and left it our to hang dry). I have to rid myself of The Draper. What will I do if the house catches fire and my leg is not resting neatly by my bed so I can make a quick getaway? Goodness sakes!!

Jumping Beans

Everyday after school, Ben goes to the sliding door and pulls himself up and just stands there looking lovingly at the trampoline. It is the sweetest and most heartbreaking sight all at the same time. So I have one of the big kids lift him up and zip the enclosure around him and he starts bouncing. Some days he cries, realizing he is all alone and has no one to jump with. Then I ask each of the other kids to jump with him for 5 minutes each and he gets 20 minutes total of friend time. Well, after the last kid went into the house yesterday afternoon he cried so I finally gave it a try.
As I boarded the trampoline I could hear my oldest kids snickering at me from the window. I couldn't figure how to 'swing' my robot leg up high enough to climb on. My goodness, that trampoline is high off the ground. I finally decided to slide in on my tummy. Ben cracked up! Mom was finally on the trampoline. After he crawled over to hug me I said, "Hey Ben, Want to just lay here and watch the sun go down?" Yeah, right mom. He quickly pointed to me and then the other side of the trampoline. So I did it. I stood up. It was so wobbly. I tried one baby jump and that was the end of that. I ended up back on my bum. Ben thought it was all planned and cracked up at the bouncing. I decided to bounce his way. We crawled around chasing each other and bounced on our knees and bums. Way more fun.

Show and Tell

I was the object of Show and Tell this morning. What a great privilege. My daughter wanted me to come and show her seminary class my leg. (Seminary class is a religion class before school at 6am for the high school age students.) Starting from my amputation surgery, I know I have been remembered in their class prayers. What an amazing group of kids. They have been so supportive to my daughter as well when she was having her hard days dealing with the whirlwind we were living in for those months. How gratetful I am for that!

Childhood dreams fulfilled

Got this dvd from my mom for my birthday. HA ha ha!!  It was one of my favorite shows growing up. I would even act out being her. Who knew I could actually become her someday??!! Amazing!!!!
I need more bionic parts...

39 and feeling fine!

I'm the birthday girl!!

This birthday feels great! Simply because I am alive! I am so blessed!
(and the ice cream sundae wasn't too shabby either)

Maintaince required.

I saw my primary care doctor to check in and look at my final lingering issues. For one, I had a cyst that wouldn't heal. She lanced that one out. Fun times there. I got some good antibiotics just to make sure it doesn't turn into something bigger. I also discovered I had a couple of moles on my head after losing my hair. How would you know unless you had no hair to cover them up. She checked those and they look normal. Not suspicious. Then there is issue number 3... my hands go numb all the time. Even the smallest task makes them numb. I notice it the most when I am driving. It is probably just neuropathy left over from the chemo drugs. I am hoping that will go away soon too. I seriously felt like I was going in for a tune up. I think this should be my last doctor visit for a long time. What a great relief!

Are you sure you want ME to give that talk?

I got to give a talk at church today. Does anyone else notice that the times you are preparing a church lesson or a talk is the week when the kids decide to have their meltdowns or something in the house breaks? When I was given my topic for my talk, I knew what kind of week I had in store for me. The topic was "Having a Christ centered home".  Of course my kids decided to let all their undesirable qualities explode this week. By Thursday I had taken away all their modern day luxuries. They lost all ipods, cell phones, video games, and computer use, and television. Nice way to prepare for the talk, huh?. I love those little children of mine though. I just wish they could coordinate with each other so I don't get all their meltdowns at the same time.

Fiesta

Know what has been on my mind all day?....

Salsa!!

  Salsa is a staple food at our house. I have one child who is completely an addict. I think I have tried every store brand ever made and finally decided that homemade is still the best. I searched for a good recipe online and finally found a winner. Yesterday, that same child needed his salsa fix so I made a batch. As I was making a second batch tonight I decided I wanted to share it with anyone who also experiences our same addiction. Try this..

--I put it all in the food processor and pulse it just a few times and there you go. --

*1 small onion

*1 jalepeno (take the seeds out!)

*2 cloves garlic

*Handful of cilantro (maybe 1/3 of the bunch)- don't use stems. They are bitter

*2 cans Rotel tomatoes with green chilies

*1 Large can stewed tomatoes

*1 lime juice

*1/2 tsp salt

It is a bit spicy but a happy kind of spice. Muy Bueno!!!

Misses

I have been thinking lately about how my life has adjusted to my new foot and how good I am feeling. It seems like a distant memory of all the struggles I just went through. I don't ever want to forget. Well, I know I won't forget but what I mean is that I don't want to forget the small daily struggles that humbled me and made me grateful just to be alive each morning. One of the biggest things I told myself I would never complain or grumble about ever again was all the driving I do to get my kids where they need to be. This was put to the test as I added early morning seminary driving to my list this week. Surprisingly, I found it to be the best part of my day. I got to watch as the sun was just rising. Although I really don't like waking up early, I completely love seeing the sunrise! And it has a whole new meaning to me as I endured many awful nights of chemo when I didn't feel like I could live one more day. I will be forever touched and reminded of my blessings at the sight of the sun rising.
I was also thinking about the things I really miss now that I have had my life altered a bit. They are both quite selfish things. The first is that I really miss my eyelashes. Alot! I have always liked my eyes. It is one part of my body that I wouldn't want to change. I mean, does anyone ever find flaws about their eyes? They are quite remarkable body parts really. Anyway, I miss my eyelashes way too much. I sure do hope they will really grow back. My other thing I miss is taking a shower. This may not be a big deal if I was a person who enjoyed taking baths. I am not that person. I can't get my leg wet so I don't get to take my leg with me in the shower. I miss getting up in the morning and having the shower run all over your face and wake you up. Nope. No enjoyment anymore. But the good news is that if this is as bad as my problems get then I am truly blessed.
There is still one thing lingering that may be added to my list of 'Things I miss'. I need to figure out how to conquer the beach this summer. How do I keep the sand from getting into my bionic parts and getting caught in the crevaces. And how in the world am I going to go get my feel wet or get into the ocean???? I guess I will find out in a few months.

Old Flame is still burning

I visited an old flame Saturday night. It was just like old times.

Hot and Sour soup. Still love it!

Lots of Floss

I finally went in to see the dentist. I was super worried what effect the chemotherapy drugs would have to my teeth. Even with all my mouth sores, I always brushed my teeth. Sometimes 3 times a day. Sometimes crying from the pain of the sores. But I didn't want my teeth to go bad. I got addicted to those floss picks. I had them with me all the time. I think I was a bit paranoid at times.

My secret addiction

Well, I saw the dentist a few days ago and the good news is... No cavities. The dentist said my teeth were in good shape. I am relieved. Very relieved. I don't like bad teeth.

Tall order

My thirteen year old son had an appointment at the doctor today. He measured in at 5' 8". What is going on with that? When I finally got my foot and could stand up straight is when I noticed that he had grown taller than me. But already at 5' 8". Goodness sakes.

Tune up

I had my first re-check with the prosthetisist. He said I was doing very well walking. I was glad to hear that because I haven't gone to therapy yet. I am kind of rebelling about it. I just don't want to go to any more appointments. I know what walking should feel like and I know how to stand up straight when I walk. So if it hurts to walk and I am limping, then I need to shift my weight around. I figure that I don't need someone to tell me that. Last week I finally got that shifting idea down. By adjusting where I place my weight on my leg when I walk, I have gotten rid of some of the soreness and I can endure the day till bedtime time. That is a  big relief.
I was pretty amazed at how the prosthetisist can 'fine tune' my foot. I would say, "I feel like I am leaning towards my little toe". And then he would twist his allen wrench in different spots and then I would say, "now my heel is too high." After only 5 or so adjustments he had me standing so strait. I practiced walking so he could evaluate my gait. The one thing I am forgetting to do is swing my arms when  I walk. He said it would make my limp look less if I would swing my arms by my side. I now have to deliberately think about it when I walk. I need to re-learn to strut.

My lucky fin

I think that there should be a better accepted name for an amputee's stump. I am not a fan of the word "Stump". But what else to you call it anyway? My friend was talking to me and was asking questions about my leg. I kept saying, "Are you  asking about my real leg?" And she answered, "No, your bot leg." I liked that. 'Bot'.. as in 'Robot' leg.
One other name I like to call my stumpy leg is my 'lucky fin'. Think Finding Nemo.
That brings me to what I did today. I went swimming!!!
Our spring break started on Thursday. And we got up bright and early to leave the house because we were having the house tented for termites. We have been staying in a hotel and enjoying the pool. Today I decided to swim with the kids while Kenneth was at work. I wasn't quite sure how I would do this. It turned out that it wasn't that bad. Thankfully there was only one other person at the pool. I sat on a lounge chair and took my leg off. Then I had one of the kids steady me as I hopped a few steps to the pool edge. Easy right? Well almost. After I got in I realized I still had to stand on one foot because I was helping Ben splash around. I only lost my footing once and thought that Ben and I were both going under. Thankfully we didn't.
As we swam Courtney told me of the two women she saw at the beach yesterday who were both without hair and just 'Embracing it'. So a few minutes after getting in I left my hat and my pride on the side of the pool and after handing Ben off to one of the boys, I swam over to her and said, "I'll embrace it".

Me before 'Embracing it'. Loved being able to swim again!

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