Lions, Tigers and Hair... oh my.

I was so happy to go on a field trip with Ben's class to the Wild Animal Park. If you are ever feeling sorry for yourself then spend a day with a group of special needs first graders. They were so fun. I think I was the slowest one there. I only lasted 2 hours on my leg but it felt so great. I especially love all his teachers. Each one of them are amazing to him everyday in class and they have also been amazing friends to me. I feel a bit bad that I went on the field trip mostly to visit with them and get caught up on their lives. It was really fun. The only bad part was the long walk back to the car. The farther we walked, the farther I knew I had to walk to get back out. But it was totally worth it.

And guess what else is new... My hair is totally growing in. It is really light blond!! Maybe I won't have to highlight it anymore!! Or it may be worse. My son reminded me it could actually be white.. like old age. I prefer to be optimistic and call it platinum blond.

All is Well.

Fresh courage take,

our God will never us forsake.

And soon we'll have this tale to tell,

all is well, all is well.

The results are in!

Ken and I went to see the oncologist to get the results of my CT scan. First of all I would like to say that my oncologist is one of the best around. I am so blessed to have been referred to him. He is amazingly smart in his field and gives detailed attention to each individual patient. With all the time I spent in the hospital I asked nurses about him all the time and he is very well respected. I have been very comfortable with him and his treatment plan for me. He is also very quiet and does way more listening than talking. So we hold on to every word he discusses with us at our appointments.  I will tell you why this is important to me in a minute. Let me to the news of the scan.
First of all it was great to walk in to his office. It is the first time he has seen me not in a wheelchair. It is also the first time his nurse weighed me, because I wasn't in a wheelchair. I made sure she subtracted the 4 lbs. my new leg weighs. I should get some perks for having a metal leg. Ok, back to the results. Here is the thing. My original CT scan showed 3 very small spots on my right lung. They were too small to biopsy. There was no way to know if they were cancerous or not in the first place. We chose to go through with chemo to be on the safe side. Instead of waiting to see  if the spots grew or not. We proceeded as though they were cancer because I didn't want to die of lung cancer. The oncologist explained before we began the chemotherapy process that we would not know if it was cancer until we were finished. If the spots shrunk in size then we would know it was cancer. If they grew than we would know that it was cancer and the chemo treatments didn't work. And if they did not change in size at all then the spots were probably scar tissue and were not cancer to begin with. So.... the final scan showed no change in size or shape of the previous nodes.

This is GREAT NEWS!!

I have been asked if I feel like I did all this chemo for nothing. My answer is No. How could I have risked my life when I have 5 children to raise? And who is to say that there weren't microscopic 'seeds' of cancer lurking somewhere in my body waiting to pop up. At least I can feel like I have done everything I can to preserve my own life instead of waiting until it was too late. And of course I have learned some hard lessons I would not have learned unless I was pushed to my breaking point.
Before we left the doctor's office, my oncologist of so very little words looked at me and said, "You did very well considering what a tough treatment plan you were on. You are really one tough lady." It was the greatest moment of pride for me. Those words meant more to me than gold.  As we left I couldn't resist saying to Kenneth, "I may not be the perfect size, I'm not in great shape, I don't run marathons or have perfectly manicured nails, I don't even have a bit of hair right now, but I am Tough!.
It was a great news day all around

Big news day today

Today I see my oncologist to get the news from my CT scan. I took the test 2 weeks ago. Kenneth had me email the doctor to see if he could give us the results early so we didn't have to wait the two weeks until we saw him. He did give us a quick answer of what was going on with those mysterious nodes I have in my lungs.  But I won't be satisfied until he looks me in the eye and tells me. And I am once again very happy to be walking on two feet into my appointment. Although the wheelchair was a great help, I am glad to say that it will be returned to the equipment company today. A sad farewell but a happy one to my old friend. Oh my, I can't believe I didn't give my wheelchair a name! Well, he served me well.

Phantom

People like to ask me if I have phantom foot pains. I was curious if I would too. The answer is Yes. All the time. It is an interesting feeling.  It is like a really mild tingling like my whole foot is constantly asleep. It could be an annoying feeling if I let it. Who likes to feel like their foot is asleep all the time? So I just put it out of my mind. My kids think it is fun to push on the end of my stumpy leg. Depending on where you push determines which toe I feel. It is weird.
I am doing okay with my prosthetic. I walked all last week and this week without using any help. By about 5pm my leg is super sore and my limp gets worse. I have been trying to keep it on until bed time. Or at least 8pm or so. Some mornings it is swollen and really sore. Some mornings I walk alright right away. I'm trying to find out what makes it tick.I will say though that I am still so very greatful to have a leg. I can't imagine living a hundred years ago and using a wooden leg I carved out of a tree branch. I am very blessed!

My little Cowboy

Ben started going to horse riding therapy a couple of weeks ago. It is a bit of a drive and I was able to drive him all by myself yesterday. It felt so good. He is really loving riding the horses. The program is specific for special needs children. It helps the kids with balance and strengthening their core muscles. Along with that they get all the sights, sounds, and touch that goes long with spending time with the horse. When the lesson is finished the instructors help him get some carrots and feed his horse. This week he even was brave enough to pet the horse. He kept pointing all over the place where he wanted the horse to go. It was very cute.

The Eyes have it

I had my eye exam today. I have never had my eyes checked before. It was really hard to keep my eyes open when he was shinning the light in them. Boy was that bright. The good news is that the structure of my eyes are great. There was no adverse effect to them from the chemo. And the blurred vision I have been having is probably due to the steroids they gave me to take over the course of chemo. So, if I wait a few weeks my vision might improve. If not then I can get some glasses to sharpen up the far stuff I cant read anymore. It was great to have good news!

This is actually Court's eye. I happened to have a pic of hers