Heart Attack!

I feel so much better. What a relief. I have had a nice weekend enjoying feeling good for the first time in 2 weeks.
I was home from church resting today. When the kids got home they were so excited to see this...

We were "Heart Attacked"!! What a fun surprise. And a mystery.
They couldn't believe I hadn't heard anything. (I was upstairs taking a nap) So who are the mystery friends????
But they left a clue. They referred to me as Karibear. Only a limited few call me that. Hmmmnnnn...???

Sores galore.

I have been in an awful state the past couple of days. My mouth sores are back and I waited a little too long until I started using my 'magic mouth wash'. Well after a day of using the swish my mouth was actually getting worse. Yesterday morning I woke up with blisters and sores EVERYWHERE in my mouth. I checked the bottle of swish and discovered it expired a month ago. Well, I got a refill as quick as I could and the pharmasist told me it is only good for 2 weeks. Oops. I should have checked that sooner. I am almost two days using the new mouth wash and am still in so much pain every few hours I break out in a crying session because it hurts so bad. The pain is incredible. These have been the worst two days!
Then, These are the days I usually end up in the hospital because I have gotten a fever from some germ floating around. I thought I was doomed to another stay after Ben came home from school Wednesday with a mild fever and congestion. Kenneth and my mom adjusted their work schedules so they could take morning and afternoon shifts the past 2 days staying with him while I stayed confined upstairs. Kenneth got the same cold and has been sleeping on the couch for more days than I can count. It is now Friday night and I am still fever free. This would be the biggest party for me except for how much pain my mouth has been. Goodness Sakes! Even good news comes with a price I guess. I just keep saying over and over that I am home and not in the hospital. Today was a day off from school and my sweet kids took shifts watching Ben so I could have one more day isolated. It is exhausting isolating yourself from the people you love and emotional too.

I got a surprise package in the mail yesterday. It is my new favorite thing. And it isn't even food. It is the best hand cream I have used for my dry skin. Thanks Leslie!

Tears of sadness, Tears of joy

I survived another really bad weekend following chemo. It was awful as usual. I don't know how I would do it without the help of my family. Kenneth takes care of my every need. Literally. I cry alot. Lots and lots. I know I say more than once, "I don't think I can do this another round. It's too hard." And he never gives up on me. My mom has supported me through this so much too. And has heard lots of crying from me too. It has been comforting to have a mom tell you, "Of course you can do this, and you will!"
I am hoping I will not get sick this week. It would be a dream come true if I didn't have to go for another stay at the hospital. If I can get to Saturday then my good blood counts will be back on their way up. That would be such a blessing.
Today I had my first trial fitting for my leg. It only needs a few adjustments and should be ready by late next week. I may walk into that last chemo appointment afterall. It was a glimpse of hope that this may almost be over.

Nothing to show on my leg here. But check out my wig...

This is just a clear test socket to see if it fits in the right places

Good News Day

Lots of good news for a change. First of all I finished round 4!
Next great news is that the Doctor said I could be finished with drug #2. The one called "Red Devil" because of all it's nasty side effects. It is the one I have to wear with me for 72 hrs. as it infuses. So Yesterday I said goodbye and I never have to have that drug again!
And still more good news... The nurses talked to my doctor before I got to chemo yesterday and since I don't need the constant IV line for that drug, he agreed to pull my PICC line out! They were so excited to tell me because they know it is another thing to cross off my list. So I have to post pictures of this awesome moment. The PICC line goes in through my upper arm and around to my my heart. Here is a picture of how long it was.

PICC line in my arm

It's out!! Look how long it was. yuck.

Home is best when we are all here

Ben came home this afternoon.!!! I was so happy to see him. He is my best little buddy and I missed him. He was still a bit groggy and a little fussy. Probably still recovering. I so wish he could tell us if something hurt or what it is he was fussy about. Nevertheless, we always try to predict what he will be feeling and make him comfortable. He still sleeps in our room so we can easily hear him. He has a sound machine and light show that shines on the ceiling. It helps him fall asleep at night. I have missed that the past few night. It was too quiet in my room for me to sleep.

The great Awakening

Going  to the playroom to check out toys and books

Ben was able to have his breathing tube pulled late last night after I left. Kenneth said they both got a good night's sleep. Kenneth was running on fumes from spending a few sleepless nights with him so I could be isolated from whatever germ he had. They are hoping to go home tomorrow. Here are a couple of pictures. He looks much better today. And a big shout out to the staff at Childrens Hospital. I wish I could go there next time I get sick.

Waking up to toys and movies