18 and counting

Kenneth and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary. I don't even remember having an anniversary last year, or celebrating in any way. I remember thinking we could do something fun this year. This is our "Golden Year". Meaning we are celebrating 18 years on the 18th of December. We had planned to go away for the weekend but we talked ourselves out of that. We have only spent the night away from home together on our 10th anniversary. Or when visiting the ER in the wee hours of the night, or when having a baby. But never getting away just the two of us for fun. Now part of the problem is that although the week before Christmas is a beautiful time of year to be married, it is a busy time of year and we usually budget our extra cash on Christmas items for the kids or to paying our property taxes.
This year we celebrated with the whole family! We had our wedding reception at the Hotel Del Coronado. It it so beautifuly decorated for the holidays. But we have never taken the kids to see the hotel or the huge Christmas tree. Did I mention that it was built in the 1880's and has so much beautiful details in the interior woodworking.

We took the kids and my mom along and had fun telling stories of our reception and walking them through the hotel, around the ballroom we had our reception in,  and on to the beach. It was just beautiful and a really fun family night.

Kenneth suprised me the following night with amazing seats to the Nutcracker Ballet. We went there one night on our honeymoon. I was impressed at his thoughfulness and it was fun to get dressed up and spend a night downtown. Anniversary a success!

Leg Three

Santa came to my house early! I got another leg today! Well, not a whole leg. In the past 9 months my lucky fin has shrunk so much that I had to have a third socket made. I keep the old foot and the old hardware. My old foot is looking pretty beat up. I wear my good tennis shoe 95% of the time, even in the house because my gait is adjusted to that pair of shoes. But it still gets gunky. I just take some windex to it and shine it up.
Today I thought it was time to get a new pair of shoes to go with my new foot. It really does make a difference. I wear this socket for a week and then tune it up in any sore spots. So far so good. Just a few spots hurt. My leg has lost all it's shape and is very cylindrical. It is weird to look at. Sometime I will take a picture and post it. It is super weird and kinda gross looking to be honest.

New Addition

We have had the most loyal and loving dog for the past 12 years. His name is Pete. Over the last few months he has blown out his knee and hip and after some tests, we believe he has cancer. We have been keeping him comfortable until we could let him go. I think he is ready and I have been preparing myself to let him go. The problem is that I don't know if I should keep him around through the holidays or not. Well, we started to look for a new puppy over the last couple of weeks and found a great dog at the shelter. She was about 4 months old and we all fell in love with her. Sadly, 4 days later she got that awful puppy virus and was terribly ill. The virus had been going aroundthe shelter and we took a chance on her anyway. We had to put her down. Not easy for me, even though we had only known her a few days. Hard on the kids too but we decided that she would have died in the shelter and at least she had a family to love her even if it was only for a short time.
This last weekend we found some puppies at a different shelter and after meeting with all 8 of the puppies in the liter, we picked one out and brought her home. We did a major bleach down of the outside yard and insde. We threw out any toy or other item that the last puppy may have touched and we cleaned our carpets. So far, we are good. We named her Gretchen.

Gretchen. She is a Black Lab blend

Our amazing dog Pete. He is a shepherd mix

Family Photo Shoot

My daughter is taking a photography class in high school this year. I thought it would be great if I let her take our family pictures for our Christmas cards. Well, we tried to take some in the backyard. No success. So we headed to the beach and decided to just let her snap away and use whatever fun pictures we got from it. Here are some of the pictures.
Oh.. and we don't match at all because I usually turn the photos into black and white so everyone was suppose to just wear a solid color.



Can you tell which of my boys couldn't find a solid color tshirt in his laundry pile?

 

my teenage boys

loving the seagulls

I worked really hard to get my hair that straight. Still a messy fluffball

Love it!!

Beach and Birds

My youngest son loves to watch birds. He is especially in his element at the beach when he can watch all the seagulls.
My sister in law has been in town visiting and it was a great exuse to go to the beach. I grabbed some old tortillas to bring to feed the birds. (We do live close to the border so I figure our seagulls are bi-cultural.), The older kids found sea treasures. They each caught a handful of san dollars that were swimming in the tide close to shore. That was a first. We have never caught those before. Maybe it has to do with the time of the year. Anyway, I got some fun pictures of the mass of birds we attracted with our tortillas

pajaro mucho gusto tortillas.

Big brother feeding the ones far away

Just keep on, keeping on.

I have been in a real funk for the past few weeks. It has taken me awhile to shake it and I still don't feel like I am through it yet.
This time of year is bringing up all kinds of feelings about what I was doing at this time last year. And I have been feeling pretty discouraged. I feel like I was given this amazing gift. I was given a second chance at life and I don't feel like I have been worthy of it. I am struggling to feel like I am doing enough with this second chance. 
I struggle with the curious question I am repeatedly asked,  "Are you going to get one of those high tech prostetic legs so you can run marathons?"  This is just one example of the new standard I feel I have to live up to. If I am not running a marathon with my new leg than I am wasting this chance I have been given to start a new life. (I don't like blurting out the other fact that those running prosthetic legs run about $30,000 and are not covered by insurance) I see other women with perfectly tidy houses, beautifuly manicured nails and hair and also having time to train for the next big race. I still struggle to keep the laundry done, my hair is one big giant curly poof ball, and am lucky to walk through the grocery store without someone saying, "Did you hurt your foot? I notice you are limping." I would be happy to just walk evenly and normally.
I know in my mind that it is not ever good to compare yourself to others but in my heart I can't help myself from doing just that. I feel like I am in a battle with myself to find where I fit in to my new world and to find my new normal. Discouragement stinks.

Hockey and Polo

So this is the last week of the sport season for my kids. This is the third year for my daughter playing field hockey. It is fun to watch but I still haven't learned all the rules to this sport and I have put forth a good effort too. I have loved going to the games. I missed them all last year except for her last home game. I had my mom take me and with only my one leg and my walker I was able to manuver to the top of the bleachers and see her play. I will never forget watching her looking for me in the stands and then her face when she saw that I made it there. A sweet moment of motherhood.
So I got a couple of pictures of her this season. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of my son at water polo yet. He has forbidden me to take pictures. Maybe it will be ok if his dad takes the pictures. Less creepy I guess.

No pirates this year.

If I am going to dress up like a pirate then I want a Really good costume! I will have to prepare ahead of time for next year. So we went with the Ghost and Ghostbuster duo. The kids all came up with something we already had. We had a party at church and I was partly in charge of so I never stopped to get a picture with me. But here is the rest of the gang.

Captain Hook

I wish I had a dollar for everytime I have heard someone say to me, "Hey, you know what would be funny? You should be a pirate for Halloween!"
I have received a couple of nice gifts too.

Where is the eyepatch and parrot??

Triple the fun

We celebrated a birthday this weekend. I wasn't able to do alot with this sweet girl last birthday. I sure do appreciate special times with the kids so much more now.
I'm not a party planning mom. I never have been. But the birthday kid always gets to chose one friend to spend the day with doing activities and then we bring that friend with us and go out to eat with the whole family. It has been a great tradition. It was too hard to chose one friend for her to take so she spent the day with both her best friends. She planned all the activities. She got her toenails painted, had a big water balloon fight, carved pumpkins, and designed her cake (which I had the bakery make for her). She chose the Soup Plantation for dinner. It was a great day!

Baby girl is growing up

My oldest baby went to her first homecoming.

Happy Leg Day!

Happy Leg day to me!! I couldn't think of anything creative to call my amputation anniversary. It is hard to believe that I was waking up from surgery right about now one year ago.

My kids leave the house in shifts in the morning. Two of them leave at 6am, one more and a husband leave at 7am, another one at 7:30 and the last at 8:30. I try to be up to say goodbye for each round as they leave in the morning and I was happy to hear a few, "Happy Leg day mom!"
When I took the last round of kids to school I found a sweet card on the seat of my car from that husband of mine. It sure was a team effort the past year. I couldn't have survived it alone. After all the kids were off, I headed down to my surgeons office to deliver a card and small gift thanking her for the great work she did cutting me up and stitching me back together. Then I had lunch with my mom. It was seriously like being the birthday girl. The kids thought it was a great idea to have a cake and sing to me. That husband of mine had stopped by the store to get some chicken 'legs' to eat for dinner only he thought the buffalo style wings looked more appetizing. We just pretended they were legs. It was a funny and thoughtful gesture on his part. So, that sums up my great day!!
I love my new leg! I love walking! I love being alive!

I'm on the right team

I have been reading though my journal to see what I was thinking and going through at this time last year. When I said I have been thinking of my year anniversary everyday I wasn't kidding. So I have been re-living it all over again but without the pain and anxiety. I really just like to see how far I have come in the last year. I guess it makes me feel stronger and better about where I am in my life now.

Anyway, I found this journal entry and wanted to share it. This is what happend as I checked in for amputation surgery.  Here is what I wrote:

October 12, 2010
...So when the woman checked me in for surgery she asked me all my info; phone numbers, address, relatives, etc including 'religious preference'.
I answered 'LDS.' "No" she replied. "We don't have that religion listed."  So I said, "Ok. well try Mormon".  No.. again it didn't pop up on her computer screen. She then told me,  "they just re-did the system. I will just list your religion as 'Other'." Tired, nervous and just wanting to get on with this I almost didn't even argue.
"No,"  I said.. "Lets keep looking. Try 'The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints'." I watched as she scrolled through a long list of religions and then....
Success! It was on the list.

Can you imagine if something had gone wrong and I needed a blessing from my religious leader and they pulled up my chart and it said "Other".  With all the religions she had scrolled through on her computer, I am pretty sure she had every religion listed. So who are the 'Others'??

I decided that I definitely don’t want to leave this earth as an “Other”.   There are only two teams you can be on. Either you are on the Lord’s team or Satan’s . And the best part is that we already know which team will win. And it is not the others.

A time to be thankful

I am approaching my year anniversary.
Last October 12th I said goodbye to my cancer and goodbye to my right leg. So what do you call this kind of anniversary? And how should I celebrate it each year? Not a day goes by that I don't think of my experiences. And how blessed I am.

By special invite only

After that last post I thought I would go ahead and share this experience.
My youngest child has health struggles and early in his life we were still learning what those where. He often had to be admitted on life support (4 times now) to help him continue to breathe when he couldn't do it on his own. He has had many ambulance rides and even got to go in the fancy helicopter to get him to the hospital. Anyway, this means my husband and I have spent far too many hours in hospitals. On one such stay, before we did the switch off for the other person to go home, we went down to the cafeteria to get some lunch. The cafeteria is in the basement tucked away in the far corner. Just past the cafeteria is a sign reading "Decedent Affairs". I said, "Decadent Affairs?? Wow, that sounds fancy.  You must have to be someone special to eat there." Well this joke has continued through our many years and the trips we have made back to the hospital. It was years later that I was talking to a friend who uses the same hospital and he said, "Don't you think it kind of weird where the cafeteria is located?" I said, "Yeah, it's way down in the basement like a little food dungeon. Maybe we should sneak into Decadent Affairs sometime and see what the VIP's eat." He then replied, "You mean Decedent affairs? As in Deceased. As in the Morgue??" Oh my gosh. What a dork I have been all these years. Well, at least it made for some fun laughs on our previous visits.
The last time I have been down to the cafeteria was the night of my leg surgery. We went down to get a bottled water and as we passed that familiar sign once more I told Ken, "I don't want to be a special guest there." I will wait many years to go in that special room. But I'm pretty sure there is a VIP section reserved for bio hazard waste that my leg has sat at.

Bio hazzard

I have wanted to know what became of my leg once it was detached from my body. Partly because of curiosity and partly because I really to feel a loss without it.It isn't like I lost a toe or something. It was a large piece of me that I will not see again. It is a weird thought to me.  Anyway, I was able to talk to a friend who is in the medical field and had him walk me through the adventure my leg went on after leaving me. Here is what I learned. First, leg was detached and placed in a bio hazard bag where it was carried down to the lab to await biopsy. I wonder what the pathologist thought when opening the bag to remove a leg and foot. I did make sure my toenails were freshly painted and my leg was cleanly shaved. So then after the biopsy my leg ended up with the bio waste and mingled in a pile of tissue, fat, after birth and all sorts of bodily waste. Then an outside company picks up all the waste and takes it to a location where it is most likely incinerated and disposed of. How would you like to have that job. And what kind of person ends up in that line of work? Interesting to think about.
I now finally feel satisfied at the journey my leg has taken. I know it all sounds gross and  quite meaningless to everyone else but me. I don't miss the pain my foot caused me but I do feel incomplete.

I'm keeping my quarters

I was cleaning out the car and found some quarters under the back seat. It reminded me of our fun trip with the kids. It was the first trip my mom has taken with us. We would love for her to come with us more often but because she works full time and because we don't have enough seats in our car, we have not been able to go anywhere all together. Anyway, she came prepared for the long drive. She gave each kid two rolls of quarters and a pencil pouch to keep them in. If they whine, crab, yell, fight, poke each other, or any other annoyance then she takes a quarter back. Whatever they are left with during the trip they can spend on anything they want. It was like magic. We made it all the way to the Utah border before one quarter was taken. It was great. When one would say, "Hey mom, Can we get ________?" I would say, "Sure. You can spend your money on whatever you want." Well, I didn't anticipate that the older kids would realize that the little trinkets weren't worth spending their money on and so they waited for a bigger purchase. The younger child caught on to this and also decided to save her money. It made for some grumpy moments when I was heard saying, "Sure. You can have that. Just grab your money and you can buy it." I then had to tell nana that she couldn't give in to their smiling little faces and sneak them an extra dollar. As a result, they all arrived home with all their money in tact. Never finding that great bigger item worth buying. Crazy kids.

Coming Home

Once a year the there is a day set aside as 'Deaf Day' in the temple. Many Deaf friends from LA to Riverside and sometimes Arizona come to visit and spend the whole day in the temple. I have been fortunate to be an ASL ordinance worker for the past 10 years now. I have not been back to work at the temple in the last year so I was excited to be back among old friends today. Only a few knew of my cancer since many don't live in the immediate area. I can't express how good it felt to be using my hands and signing with old friends. It truly felt like coming home. I love my Deaf friends! There is no guile or false pretenses. Just sincerity and love. I had moment when my "Chemo Brain" caught up with my hands and I stood clueless to what I was just saying, or my hands would freeze while I recalled what sign I was looking for. But all in all, we understood each other. I was glad I didn't lose that part of my life and I am able to still serve in the temple. What a wonderful day it was.

Humble heart

I have made a couple visits as a volunteer to the chemo suite in the last week. I have already met some neat people. It is so humbling. Extremely humbling. I am mostly visiting with the first time patients but have been able to visit with others. I have met one woman who was ready to get on with it and charge through her treatment and I met another woman who was solemn and almost numb with anxiety. I am already learning alot and am sure I will get more out of it than anyone else. The question I was asked most was "How long until I lose my hair?" I have a picture of me with my family right before I was diagnosed as well as a picture of me with no hair and a beanie hat on. I have been able to show off my before and after looks to reassure the patients that their hair will indeed grow back even though it doesn't feel that way when you are in the middle of treatments. And by the way, my crazy new curls are really starting get out of control. As much as I don't care for my short curly hair. I am still thankful to have hair again.

We are Warriors

I was so fortunate to have all my  oncology and chemo care through a medical office in the same city in which I live. I am frequently in that same building going to the primary care doctor for the children or using the pharmacy. I have passed by the Chemo Suite many times in the past few months and I finally stopped in to say hello to my chemo nurses..aka. chemo angels. I know they didn't recognize me at first. I said, "Do I need to be in a wheelchair with a hat on for you to recognize me?" I got hugs all around and had a fun time showing of my new leg. While I was there one of the nurses told me that she recomended me for a new program they were starting that would have a "veteran" patient volunteer once a week to be in the chemo suite to answer questions and be a buddy for the new patients. I have gone through all the training classes and am going to start next week. This will be a great opportunity to encourage other chemo warriors on their fight to live.

They're Back!

Look what I grew back in as little as 6 months.
I do realize I got a little crazy with the mascara but I wanted to see how thick I could make them.

Figs and more.

The past few days have been really hot here. Hot enough to wish we had air conditioning. It almost reminded me of the Utah heat from our trip a few weeks ago. Which got me thinking that I never posted about our trip. Here is what we did the first day.
We stopped in Las Vegas to get lunch and fill up the car with gas. As we were leaving the food establishment, nana noticed a lady being solicited by a 'john' and pointed it out to my teenage son. He was amazed. Those are the things you only hear about when dad lets you watch the tv show Cops. Wow. What a way to start out the vacation.
We arrived in St. George and went over to Brigham Young's winter house to take a tour. We learned some great history about the settlement of the area and got to walk through his home. We finished the tour in his back yard and the missionaries showed us all the fruit trees he had planted and offered us to pick some figs off his tree. My mom's eyes got real wide and I had to take a picture of it. (She just loves Brigham Young by the way.)

The first thing nana said when we got in the car to leave was, "Wow! It is only the first day and we aready saw a prostitute getting picked up in front of a Dairy Queen and we got to eat Brigham Young's FIGS!!!" Yes, it was a great start to the days to follow.

It's time for school again.

Could it really be time for school again? Yes!!!!

Double trouble at work again

After dinner tonight I packed up the two youngest kids, and one extra, and headed to the beach for a sunset swim. While Ben and I fed the seagulls, Charlotte and her partner in crime dug up sand crabs and collected as many as they could. Thankfully she did not bring a backpack or empty milk jug to save them in (refer to previous post about the jug of snails that were smuggled into school).
Evening time is one of my favorite times to go to the beach. There are no crowds, you can always find the free parking and you get to watch the sunset.

Double Trouble at play

Pointing at more seagulls

Somethings not right here.

I registered my son for high school yesterday. With much convincing, his older sister has talked him into playing water polo. I think he would have been onboard with the idea earlier this summer had it not been for the dreaded speedo.
I had the great honor of taking him shopping for his first speedo purchase yesterday. It was quite a new concept for me. I mean, what size do I even start at for a boy who is only 14 years old and already 5'8"? Ugh. This was much different than taking your daughter shopping for her first bra. That experience is more like celebrating her new womanhood. Buying a speedo was not any celebration of manhood. It is just not right.

Miles and miles

I accomplished something this last week. It may seem so incidental to everyone else but me. I drove 1,500 miles to Utah and back by myself. I seriously didn't know how my leg would handle it. But I did it and it was one thing to check off my list of things to prove to myself that I could do again.
My husband and my oldest son went to Philmont scout ranch in New Mexico for 2 weeks. So I packed up the rest of the kids and my mom and we went on an adventure. We packed in so much pioneer history sites and made the trip back to BYU to reminice and see the campus. The weather was hot but I had some great hair days. My crazy new curls straightened out a bit. That was a nice change. We made it back yesterday and got unpacked in time to welcome home the boys today. My sweet son greeted my with a hug and "Hey mom, smell this.." as he lifted his sleve open for me to smell his armpit. I suppose I was supposed to say,
'I am proud of you. You smell really bad. Good job.' ???? Anyway, I have many things I learned on this trip and will write my profound thoughts in later posts.

Flippity Flop

I am still trying to figure out how to wear shoes. I have a pair of running shoes that I wear everyday. My prosthetic foot is adjusted to fit that shoe. So if I take my shoe off and go barefoot then it feels off and is hard to walk on. I have one other pair of shoes that I wear on Sunday to church. They are flats with a sturdy sole. Nothing fancy. Just plain. They are still not adjusted as well as with my running shoe. It would sure be nice to be able to adjust the incline of my foot with the pair of shoes on put on in the morning. But for now I am just glad to walk. I do miss being able to wear cute shoes, high heels, and especially flip flops!!! My fake toes are all one piece so there is no way to wear shoes that go between my big toe. I miss flip flops alot.
Yesterday I was at Nordstrom Rack. It is like a buffet of shoes. Amongst all the shoes I was able to find one pair that had a solid sole without any incline of a heel. They are made by Sperry. Did you know that Sperry's are back in style again? Well that is what my teenager has told me. I remember my big brother buying them in the 80's. Who'd have thought they would be cool again. And the best part? Only $21.98. Nice.
I now have 3 pairs of shoes and I am quite content. I have come to terms with the fact that no shoe will distract from the metal bar coming out of them.

Want to arm wrestle?

 I met with my oncologist yesterday. I will tell you that walking into the Oncology department isn't as emotional as it used to be. I still remember the first day there. Just seeing the huge letters
ONCOLOGY dept. on the wall just made me feel sick. I remember saying to my husband, "This is not a department I thought I would be sitting in for a long time."
On the brighter side, I think the nicest and funniest people are in the waiting room for oncology. Probably because most of them are over the age of 70 and say whatever they want. Yesterday, one such older man blurted out, "Does anyone here want to arm wrestle me while we all wait?". See what I mean? Cool people. One time a gentleman asked where he could get such a fancy wheelchair as the one I was in that day. I tried to explain to him that I had borrowed it from the clinic and it wasn't mine. He continued to ask me about the design and how I liked it. I'm not sure he heard me or understood it wasn't mine. So I talked with him as though it was and told him all the features I like about it. He decided he wanted one like it too. I changed the subject and asked him about himself. Found out that he fled from captivity from his communist country as a young man. His brother was caught and tortured by his oppressors but lived to escape to another country. His story continues and I was fascinated in all he had been through. He is now in their 80's and finally living the American Dream. I was dumbfounded by the extent of his life's experiences. And now he was facing cancer but was just so thankful for life. I could go on and on about the cool people I have met in the waiting room there. I was so refreshed by yesterday's arm wrestle challenge. I am proud to have joined in the ranks of  'cancer patient' with these amazing people.
And for some good news.... My scans came back clear. No new suspicious nodes. One word sums up my day. Gratitude.

Security check.

I had another 'First' this week. I went through airport security!!! I was picking up my nephew at the airport. Since he is a minor they allowed me to go to the gate. Me and 4 of my kids. We made it through with ease until I was detained for the full body scan. The security agent said in his radio, "Be advised. The next passenger has a prosthetic leg." In hindsight I shouldn't have told him anything and let the agents be on their toes to find out why I was beeping. After the full body scan I still had to be searched with the beeper wand thing they wave around your body. And why do the wands have gauze stuff attached to the end that they wipe over the palms of your hands? What are they searching for?

Gum Grafting..?

Even though I got through all the chemo and it's effects on my teeth with out any cavities... It did do a job on my gums. I got to get a gum graft yesterday. Basically the gum tissue disconnected from one of my teeth. I was really dreading having this procedure done. Not because of the pain factor, but because of the creepy factor. I don't like having my teeth or my eyes messed with. Creep out factor. So having a surgeon cut off my dead gum tissue, then harvest good gum tissue and sew it on the bad area just a little freaky. I lived through it and it was pretty quick and I didn't even pass out. Sore today. Really sore.

Breathe in.... Hold your breath....

For the next 5 years I will need to be under the care of the oncologist to make sure my cancer doesn't re-occur. For the first 2 years I will have a CT scan every 4 months and meet with the doctor. I had my first  re-check scan this week. I don't know why but I was really nervous about it. Even anxious about it. The CT scan is an easy harmless scan but it just drums up all the feelings I had going through the whole cancer stage. It wasn't pleasant.  During all the poking, proding, amputating, chemo, IV's, needle pricks, etc. I would just make my mind go to that 'happy place' so I could deal with all of it. Otherwise I would have surely had a nervous breakdown. Although I never found that 'happy place' that some are able to find. But I did learn how to block out what was happening to me and just get through the procedure.
So I got my mind back to that place and went in for the scan Tuesday. Done. Now just waiting to see if any new spots have emerged. I will meet with my oncologist next week.

Legal Action

Checking in for the big test...

I have my first official teenage driver in the family now. My girl passed her driving test first try.

We spent the 4th of July holiday driving around town and the DMV. We even practiced parking at the section marked for 'driving test students'. We made 3 different trips to the area and made sure she knew all the speed limits and left turn yeild signals. And on the way to take the test we were blessed to have a firetruck approach so she even got to practice pulling over to the side of the road for it to pass. As she departed for her test she ran over the curb (her signature move) and then wouldn't you know it, but an ambulance came down the road. She was able to pull over without complete panic thanks to our experience that morning. She returned only 10 minutes later and I waited to see if she gave me the thumbs up sign. Yeah!!!!! Thumbs up! I am thankful that is over. But still scared to send her off alone in the world.

Ready to begin test and drive away..

And even more good news. .. We have decided on a name for this new car of ours. We are naming him "Carlos" in honor of the nice instructor who gave her a passing grade.

Spoiled kid

My oldest daughter takes her driving test next week. I am still not ready for her to drive. I know it will be a helpful thing for me as a mom because she can help with driving the other kids around. But I am still not ready for it. She also had it in her head that she would get a car. Of course, doesn't everyone automatically get a car when they turn 16? For that reason alone I refused to get another car. Well, then we came upon a great used car and we caved in. My rationalization goes like this. "It is not your car. It is my other car. I cannot drive dad's car because it is a stick shift. With my prosthetic leg it is just too much shuffling around. So I need another car in case dad needs the mini van to drive all of you somewhere. So it is mine. Yes, I have 2 cars now and you still have none. If you would like to drive my car sometimes then I will allow it but only if you are nice and your homework is done." How does that sound?
I know, I caved in. It will never be my car. She will probably destroy it before too long. And she is spoiled.

It is an Acura of some kind. I haven't yet named it.

Run..run as fast as you can

 I have been loving my new prosthetic! Yesterday I decided to see if I could run yet. Now I have tried this before and sorely failed (ie. tripped, stumbled, tumbled). But this new leg is much lighter. The previous one was 4 pounds. Now that doesn't sound like alot but if you could imagine tying a 5lb pound bag of flour to your leg then you would understand that it was just dead weight. I don't even notice this leg. AND.. I was able to get jeans on for the first time in months. Thankfully they still fit too. My knee is normal size too. Okay, back to the running. It was quite comical and I felt like a complete dork. But the kids laughed it off with me as I ran from the living room to the kitchen and back and forth. It is a really weird sensation. My brain told my leg what to do but I couldn't feel it. Very weird sensation! If you have ever seen the movie Enchanted, think of the opening scene when the troll comes chasing after the prince and makes that stomp, stomp, stomp kind of run. That is how I felt. Very clumsy. My helpful husband looked at me and said, "You know, if you would finally go to therapy then I'm sure you would run much better." Killjoy.

First date

Now that Courtney is 16 she is legal to date. Her Dad wanted to be her first date.

Found: Right Leg

The new leg is amazing!!!!

And my knee is back

Student of the Year!!

My littlest guy has made huge progress in school this year. And today he was awarded Student of the Year for his class. Way to go Ben!!!

Sweet Sixteen

My baby turns 16 today. We celebrated big last week with her best friend who has a birthday tomorrow. It was a dinner, games, and a dance party with about 50 people. They had their closest friends and family there to celebrate with us.  What a fun night.

The birthday girls!

Waiting for the guests to arrive

Today we are going to have birthday cake and officially blow out the birthday candles!!!!

This is what 16 looks like...

Finally time to wear the birthday hat!!

Oooze

More infections for me. I just can't stay out of the doctor's office. I got another infection from a spot on my lucky fin. Just from constant rubbing of wearing the bionic leg. But this one got the size of an egg. Do you know how painful those cysts can be?? Oh my gosh. I actually got the chills and threw up from the pain last night. So today the doctor lanced it and drained out the gunk. She then said, "Stay off it for a few days and keep it elevated". I looked at her puzzled. She said, "Oh, do you work?" I replied, "Well, I have 5 children at home." "Well do the best you can," she said. It is 5pm and I finally got my prosthetic off to elevate it. This will only last about 20 minutes cause I have dinner to make. At least I got some antibiotics.
But I took an 'after' picture of it. It doesn't look as bad as it feels. I would expect it to have green fumes coming out of it for how much pain it is causing me.

Disneyland

We made it to Disneyland!! Finally!
The older kids go every year with school fieldtrips. But The two younger kids have never been. We were blessed and given tickets soon after my amputation so we could take all the kids and celebrate when it was all over. So this was a long time to wait to celebrate. Charlotte went nuts! She took in the magic of it all and later in the day as we rode the faster roller coasters we learned she was fearless. It was also great to use my handicap pass to get right on the rides. Ben was able to do many of the rides but was pretty overwhelmed my all the sights and noise. Just on the tram ride to get to the park, he was already hiding his face and pointing back at the car. He warmed up after the carousel and rode his horse 3 times. And the great news is that I lasted 13 hours walking on my leg. I think I am still recovering now, 3 days later.

Pointing back to the car

hiding his head from the ride

gotta love mr. toad's wild ride

no sorcerer today

charlotte was in awe of her beauty