Spreading Christmas Cheer

I really LOVE Christmas time!!

This year I have had to pause a few times and deal with some personal anxiety. I can't help but remember Christmas 2 years ago and how much pain I was in. I am just so overwhelmed and greatful that the Lord has spared my life and I am ever greatful at this time of year. I am also more sensitive to those who are facing pain or personal struggles. We have tried to find those in need and really find ways to serve. And carry that spirit of giving 'care' throughout the year.

As we have sought out opportunities this season, we have also had some fun. An older sister in the ward asked if my teenage kids could play 'elves' and sneak around the front yard while the grandchildren decorated the Christmas tree. Of course!!!
So, their family gathered to sing Christmas carols and decorate the tree with the front window wide open. My little Elves danced around the yard and watched the suprise in these sweet children's faces as they watched from the window.

Year 2 without Miss Right

In October I celebrated my 2 year anniversary of saying goodbye to my Right Foot! I am still so greatful for my amazing surgeon, Dr. Paige and her amazing surgical skills in rebuilding me a great Stump!

Time goes by

Time goes by so quickly when you aren't taking chemo drugs!
I have had lots of fun things I could blog about over the past few months... but I have gotten out of the habit. I guess I started out as a way to document my journey though my cancer trials. Now that it seems I am out of the thick of it, I don't feel like I have much that is worthy to blog about. I keep waiting for something "Profound" to happen so I can write about it. However, I of all people should have learned that by living through cancer made I am so aware that my own mortality is a gift and even the every day routines are 'profound' because I am alive to see my kids grow up.

The "Bonus Trials"

I was going through a photo album on my computer and found some pictures from my chemo days. It feels like so long ago. And other than a prosthetic leg, I don't have any visual effects left on my body. My hair has grown in past my shoulders, my eyelashes are thick and long again and my skin tone has evened out. I don't have a PICC line to deal with and only a tiny scar to show for that. I don't have to get weekly blood tests and overall, it seems like it was ages ago. But when I carried my son into the operating room and waited with him for the anesthesia to take effect, I took a quick look around and was flooded with all the intense feelings I felt as I had been in a room similar to it having my leg sawed off. It has stuck with me this week. Although I have been focused on my son's recovery, I have had some grieving feelings of my own over losing my leg. I honestly miss my leg. Not the cancer and contaminated leg. That was a blessing to get rid of. But just an average standard leg.
So now I want to put up some pictures just for my own reminicing.


So the hospital was about a 45 min drive to get to and since we didn't want to be late we arrived way to early. There was a Costco across the street so we browsed around and looked for some good books we could read for the week in the hospital and got Kenneth something to eat before the long night of waiting through surgery. (It was a 6:30pm scheduled surgery).
Now I had to be fasting all day and was a bit tempted my the yummy Costco style hot dog. But did my supportive husband really need to include the giant soft serve icecream delight?

 

 

 

Then this next picture is me.. Patiently waiting for him to finish his feast as I have tired, stressed out eyes from my occasional crying and nervous mood. Oh and did I mention I had been FASTING until the above time of 6pm????

 

Wow. I look really bad. But this is what it looks like an hour before your leg is amputated!!

 

 

 

 

Then I found these cool pictures of my RAW leg after taking the first casting off.

 

WARNING!!!.... the following pictures are Gross!!!

 

 

 

Prying the cast off.

 

 

 

2 weeks after amputation. First look at new leg.

 

 

 

 

And this next picture is pretty gross. This is the wound that opened up and had to be packed with gauze everyday for 4 months until it filled itself in with scar tissue. But it is probably one of my favorite pictures of the journey. It just proves again to me that my life has never been easy. Even when I have hard trials I usually get the 'extra bonus' trial to go along with it.

 



 

Yeah. That is still gross to look at. But, I'm still pretty proud of that extra trial.





 

Girls weekend

I got to go on my very own vacation. Charlotte and I flew to North Carolina to visit my brother and his daughter. We have never been there before. It was Great!! What a beautiful place. There were trees everywhere we looked. And we got to eat all kinds of southern food. Char loved spending time with her cousin sofia. Because of the distance we rarely get to see each other.

Best airport greeting ever!

Filling their bags with treasures at the Scrap Exchange

Starting our first morning at Biscutville! Yum!

Trying on hats at a Vintage store.. Why not?!

And Baptism Day!!

My very own Stretch Armstrong

It has been 4 years since we had surgery to correct Ben's legs. The doctor makes a cut in his groin, calves and ankle tendons and then stretches the muscles to a flexed position. He then casts both legs to keep his feet flexed and in a month we have new stretched out legs. It gives him just enough to stand up flat footed and straighten his knees. Right now he walks or runs on his tippy toes always crouched in the knees. Over time he will start to walk with a criss crossed gait and that's when it is time to stretch him out again. So Moday afternoon when I called to schedule his surgery I was greeted with a 'We had a cancellation for tomorrow morning. Are you ready tomorrow?' Woah! After a good talk with the surgeon we decided to go for it. The good part was knowing that Ben was healthy and none of us were sick around here. Not something you can very well predict when you schedule a month in advanced. It went great. Me and him got to spend the day together. The doctor even let me suit up to carry him into the O.R. and help him as they gave him some gas to fall asleep. I don't think he had any fear until they tried to make him breathe into the oxygen mask. It was a good day. Today we are taking it easy. I know it hurts him and he is a tough kid. I am so amazed by his strength. I love him so much!!

School is cool

School has started again!! This was the fastest summer yet. My little chickens are growing up too fast.

12th grade

10th grade

8th grade

5th grade

3rd grade!!

Nice View

My husband and daughter spent this week on a river trip with a group of teenage youth from our chruch. He really enjoyes camping, hiking and just being in the outdoors so this trip was something he looked forward too. A nice break from his everyday office work.
The first morning before they set out on the river he sent me this picture.
It was titled "Look at the view I woke up to this morning!"

Wow! He was right. It is beautiful country where he is. Well, I went downstairs after seeing his message and took a look at the view I woke up to that morning. I couldn't help but take a picture of it and send it back to him. Of course I titled it "And look what I woke up to this morning!"

Sweet music

I reunited with an old friend.

I got this beauty in 1991 and we spent a couple of years close together. But as kids came along, she went back in her case and stayed there for the last 15 or so years.
 My two older sons wanted to take guitar lessons. I was so pleased about it. So out came my old friend and I have had fun playing around the last couple of weeks. I love having the sound of guitar music in my home. It is what I grew up listening too. It feels like home.

Two weeks = New shoes

My sweet littlest boy got a new walker. He is getting taller! He waited patiently while adjustments were being made and even tried to help it along.

Because he puts so much effort into walking, he drags his feet. Especially when he tries to run. His shoes take quite a beating. I have tried buying every type of shoe. From cheap Target shoes, to Stride Rite. The first obsticle is finding a shoe that will fit over his leg braces. And then trying to find ones with toe reinforcement. Not as easy as it would seem.

I found one brand that I order off the internet now that last him 2 weeks. The longest he goes without his toes poking through. I started taking pictures of all the worn out shoes we go through. Here are a couple...



It is so worth all the trouble to see him walk and even run! We try everyday just to help him be as independent as he can possibly be! He is a Champ!!



Little Pioneer Children.. walked and walked and walked..

Every four years the youth from church spend 3 days experiencing what life was like for the pioneers. This year two of our kids went on the trek.

We had a fun afternoon thrift shopping for all their clothes. I think I have only been in a thrift store twice in my life. It was super fun and I now feel the need to go to all the thrift stores in the area.  Haha..
So all the clotes were thrifted except for making the bonnet and apron. We did pretty good and I think they look pretty cute. It was a great experience for them to be put in to groups/ 'families' and pulling a handcart for 3 days. They slept under the stars each night and got soaked in a rainstorm. They got a tiny feel for what our pioneer ancestors experienced.

The Captain wouldn't eat this

My youngest son has various special needs. One of them is his ability to chew. Meaning, he can't chew. So all his food has to be baby food consistency. He also doesn't feed himself so we have to be on top of remembering all his meals and snacks. He probably eats the most healthy of all of us because we are always trying to make sure he gets enough food, nutrients and even extra calories. Anyway, he loves oatmeal and has it almost every morning. Sometimes I like to switch it up and today I gave him some Captain Crunch Cereal.
I mean, what 7 year old boy wouldn't love to have his mom put this bowl of breakfast in front of him in the morning..

Not quite what my son gets. This is how his cereal starts.. then it goes in the Magic Bullet blender and I add milk and let it sit for a few minutes to make a tasty paste like texture. Yummm.. here is the final breakfast he ate...

I'm sure if all kids ate their sugar cereal this way, there would be alot more kids eating eggs and oatmeal for breakfast.

Ahhh. Still good

Had my CT scan. Good news is that there are no new cancer spots. Ahhhh. Still good for now.

Still playing with legos

My baby girl just got her first job!!

 She is running some rides at Legoland. As far as first jobs go, I think this is one of the best.(And she looks cute in the uniform too! )

23R

My family and I fondly call my prosthetic leg my 'robot' leg. Which I think makes me sound pretty cool. Well a couple of months ago I was giving my foot a good scrub down with some household cleaners and as I was looking at the bottom of my foot I noticed a number stamped on the bottom. How could I have not noticed it before now. Well anyway, this is what it looks like..

It says 23R. I hadn't noticed it before. And since then I realize that I have an official robot name. I feel like R2D2 or C3PO. This is awesome!!

Mom

Although my mom is beautiful, I did not learn certain things from her. Like how to have perfectly manicured nails, or how to shop for designer clothes. We have never been to a spa together and she didn't even take me for mother/ daughter massages. I  wouldn't even know how much of a tip to leave for that.
But she did take me to mother/ daughter service days spent mowing old ladies lawns in the scorching sun and she taught me how to care for a friend in desperate need. She has taught me that no amount of money or recognition  is worth trading my integrity for. She taught me that when I give my word to someone that I better mean it and follow through to the end. She taught me to never give up. And that good things are worth the wait.
She even taught me that it would be better to have callouses on my hands then pretty nail polish. Wrinkles from the sleepless nights I stayed by my son's hospital bed, and sore knees that I got from kneeling in prayer rather than spending my free time playing golf with the ladies at the country club.
I wouldn't trade spa days for serving others and shopping trips for time with my children. I wouldn't trade my honor for fame, or integrity for money. I continue to learn from my mom as we are growing older together. Not the 'finer' things in life, but the 'important' things of life.
I am blessed everyday that Heavenly Father sent her to me.

Her legacy lives on in my children.          Life is good!

Waiting on heaven

There has been alot going on in our family over the past couple of weeks. And I have been affected by all of it.
In some of my privious posts I have written about my daughter and her friend. I have fondly refered to them as Double Trouble, or Partners in Crime. One bonus to their friendship is that I am dear friends with his mom. Two weeks ago she collapsed and out of respect for her family I won't go into details of her struggles yet but she spent a week in a coma with not great odds of waking up. My heart ached for days as I waited to talk to her again. When I would stand by her bedside I really felt a humbled feeling, like she may have been going between heaven and earth and I was reminded how close heaven really is. I have put my own heartaches to rest and I am ready to help her fight on!! She is Amazing!!

Back to the Old West

Over spring break we got season passes to Knott's Berry Farm. I have great memories of going there as a child. It is bassed on the Old West. It has many shops and attractions that reflect the Gold Rush and what life was like for the first settlers. But then it has fast roller coasters for the older kids. We went twice over spring break. The big kids are old enough to spend the day on the roller coasters while the two younger ones and I went to all the attractions. It was fun for Charlotte because she is studying the Gold Rush right now in fourth grade. While panning for gold she was chatting it up with the worker about dates and places of early prospectors. I was impressed.

 We did one small ride with Ben but the noise was too much for him. He was happy sitting and watching the roller coasters go by and laugh. Here is one spot we stopped to watch the faun around us.

Hahahaha! I think the caption should read;    "Hey cowboy, I don't care that you have a gun.. She is with me!"

Hair everywhere

I took a picture of back of my hair on my one year anniversary but was embarrassed by the desperate need for some professional hair coloring touch up. But I was going through old pictures and found a picture of me at 2 months of re hair growth. It was fun to see the difference.

2 months of  growing new hair

 And this is my messy mop head after one year. I have experimented with lots of different colors of hair too. End result is still BIG hair.

Chemo Graduation day Anniversary!

It has been 1 year today since I finished my chemotherapy and I am still cancer free. I feel very lucky and blessed to be alive another year. I cannot express how valuable life is when you realize each day you are lucky to be alive.
I went through my old pictures to see what I looked like at this time last year. I never posted the pictures back then because of how awful I truly looked and how I can see in my eyes how awful I felt. I was ready to look at the pictures again today.

Finishing chemotherapy

I have no words that could describe what it felt like to be in that much pain. There was not a single part of my body that didn't ache or want to just give up. It is actually hard for me to feel it all over again.
So I will move on to a happier picture. This is me today. One year later and feeling a whole lot better!

Sincere Grattitude!!

Gum grafting galore

I had another gum graft. Hopefully my last. The first one took amazingly. This one is doing okay so far.
Here is my tooth before the graft. It is hard to see how far down the gum receeded but it was all the way to the jaw bone and also disconnected from the tooth. My tooth is still sensitive to hot or cold but it should get better with time.

Carry on

Muy Bueno

Southern Callifornia has many beautiful reasons for living here. For most people, the Beach is probably top on that list. For those of us who are native to San Diego, I would have to argue that Carne Asada is top on the list.
We have great Mexican food here and many of the local dives are open 24 hours. As a teenager my friends and I would stop for a 6 am machaca burrito instead of donuts or bagels. Well, my teenage daughter is now keen to this luxury of deliciousness when she is up late working on homework. Once it gets past 11pm she feels the need to say, "Mom, we need some carne asada fries." Now I can't reward her with a mound of mexican goodness everytime she is up late, but once in a while when stress is high we will make a midnight run. My teenage son was up late working on a project. First time he had been up past 10pm doing schoolwork. He was very tired and grumpy. I questioned, "Would carne asada fries help this situation and you will stop complaining?" It worked like magic.

Living Legends

BYU has a dance group called Living Legends. They perform the traditional dances of Native Americans, Latin America, and The Islands. They were in town performing and we took the family plus nana to see it. It was so amazing. We don't get out to see much in the way of the performing arts. Not as a whole family at least. So this was a new experience for my youngest daughter to be in such a large venue too. Afterward, the performers were available for pictures. My youngest daughter loved that!

My favorite were the latin dancers

Fourth Grade Missions

One thing all 4th graders study in California is the history of the California Missions. This includes learning all about mission life for the people and their cultures, etc. We live close to 2 missions. And the kids in our town visit Mission San Luis Rey. This year I got to go as a volunteer with my daughter's class. It was so fun. Along with visiting the mission, the students are required to chose from a list of projects to do. We made a mud brick at home, a mobile depicting the mission life, and the ever popular mission model. It is a dreaded event for most parents. Because it is alot of work and alot of cutting with a sharp knife. And mostly because the actual project doesn't get started until the day before and then panic sets in that it wont dry in time.
I tried to have a great attitude about working on this project. It is the fourth mission I have helped construct and it will be my last. My daughter loved every minute of it. You can buy the kit and all the acessories at the craft store. It can easily cost $40-$50. But I chose to 'force' my kids to build it from what we have at home. Not just because of the cost but to encourage them to use their imaginations. They have all hear me say, "The stores didn't sell any of this stuff when I was in fourth grade. And I built it all from my imagination." (and my mom's creativity. haha)
My daughter was a little sad because she picked her mission because it was the only mission that had
5 bells on the front tower. I had to give in and buy the shiny bells for her but the rest she did herself.

My proud little girl

I love the bells too!

Just Smile

My third child (if you include my husband) got his braces off!

Look at that smile!

This is what $4000.00 will get you.

That smile is worth every bit!!!